Book

The Joy of Talking Politics with Strangers is filled with inspiring stories and practical tips about how to make the most of every canvassing and phone banking encounter with a voter. Here’s one example from the Introduction:

It’s a balmy spring morning in March, and I’m knocking doors in California’s Central Valley. Today is Super Tuesday, when the biggest number of states hold primary elections. I’m getting out the Democratic vote for one of the hottest Congressional races in the country. In California’s “jungle primary” system, the top two vote-getters advance to the general election in November. I’m here to help ensure my candidate isn’t squeezed out by two Republicans.

Driving to my assigned neighborhood, I pass acre upon acre of fruit orchards. Oranges hang heavy from their boughs and stud the ground like bright croquet balls. This Congressional district is nearly three-quarters Latino, and many of the voters I talk with work in the fields. Registered Democrats outnumber Republicans. But it all comes down to voter turnout, and Republicans have represented this district for almost all of the last four decades.

I approach a light-blue house and ring the doorbell. I’m here to talk with a voter I’ll call Adelina. She’s in her 20s, according to my voter contact app. Her older brother, Ricardo, answers the door. He says, “She’s a night owl, so she won’t be up until 5 this evening. Actually, though, I’ve been thinking about voting for the first time.”

I say, “That’s fantastic! Tell more about that.” He gestures to a couple of folding chairs on the porch and we take a seat. I ask him, “I’m curious to know what’s important to you. If you were president of the United States, what two or three things would you change?

He says, “I think the U.S. needs to have less testosterone in its foreign relations, and should get people together and broker peace.” Wow, that’s not a response I was expecting from someone who’s never voted, but it sounds promising. I ask him what he does for work, and he says he’s worked construction, agriculture, anything he can do with his hands. Ricardo points to his toned biceps curv-ing out from his black sleeveless shirt. “I stay fit carrying 80 pound bags up and down ladders, and never have to go to the gym,” he says. “You don’t see many people around here using workout equipment, because they get all their exercise at work.”

The conversation goes in many directions as he jumps from one thought to the next. He tells me he got all Ds and Fs in high school. “Numbers and words were hard for me, but I could learn how to fix things or use a piece of machinery in a couple of hours,” Ricardo says. I say, “There are lots of different kinds of intelligence. It sounds like you’re off the charts when it comes to fixing and making things.” He mentions that he drank a lot in his younger days, but is getting his life together. He says he knows he doesn’t have a filter and says whatever pops into his head – but he’s working on changing that, because it hurts people’s feelings or makes them angry.

I ask if he identifies as a Democrat or a Republican. He doesn’t know the difference between the two parties and asks me to explain. I tell him that based on what he shared with me about wanting more peaceful relationships between countries and how he earns a living using his hands, he sounds more in tune with Democrats, who stand with working people rather than the bosses.

I tell him I’m there in support of the Democratic candidate for Congress and give him a flyer. I ask what, if anything, he knows about Congress. Nothing, he tells me. So I briefly explain the roles of the three branches of government – the president leads the federal government, Congress makes laws, the courts interpret the laws. “Oh, it’s a system of threes – that way it’s balanced!” he says with excitement. “Exactly!” I tell him. “That’s the whole idea, so no one part has too much power.”

I tell him that today is Election Day, and that he can vote at the Veterans Memorial. I pull up a picture of it on my phone, which I took the day before when I got into town, and ask if he recognizes it. “Oh yeah,” he says confidently. “In high school, me and my buddies used to drink 24-packs in the back of that building.” I say, “Awesome! You can go back to your old stomping grounds to vote, anytime before 8 tonight.”

I hesitate. California allows voters to register to vote on Election Day. However, given what he told me about having trouble with words and numbers, I worry he might have a hard time filling out the bureaucratic registration form. Since he’s never voted before, he might feel intimidated or just leave – if he even makes it to the polls. I say, “Hey, since we’re talking now, why don’t I just register you to vote online?” Ricardo says sure, so I pull up the website on my phone and walk him through the form. We enter all his information and submit it.

There’s just one catch. Since it’s Election Day, it’s too late for the registration to be in the official records at the polling site.

Read More

The website says to fill out another registration form at the polls. I ask him, “Will you be home for another 20 minutes?” He says yes, so I ask him to wait for me. I go to my car, where I have a portable printer in my trunk. I download and wirelessly print the voter registration affidavit from my phone. I fold the form, put it in an envelope, and bring it back to him. “Just show this to the poll workers when you go vote, and they should let you fill out your ballot,” I tell him. “But just in case you have questions or run into any problems, can I give you my phone number? You can call or text me.” We exchange numbers, and I test out calling him to make sure I entered his number correctly.

I ask when he can vote. Ricardo says he can go that afternoon, after he renews his driver’s license at the DMV. In my head, I think it’s a long shot – maybe a 10% chance he’ll vote, given that he’s never done it before and seems easily distracted. But I say, “That sounds like a great plan. And if you do vote, I’d love to see a selfie with your ‘I Voted’ sticker!”

We say goodbye. I head to the public library to use the bathroom, then eat my bag lunch in the backseat of my car. It’s turning into a hot afternoon and I’m tired, a little grumpy, and wondering if I spent too much time talking with Ricardo when there are so many other doors to knock. Well, at least I got him registered, which might not have happened otherwise.

As I’m finishing lunch, I look at my phone and see I have a message. It’s from Ricardo, and it’s just one word: “Finished.” He also sends me a selfie with – yes – his “I Voted” sticker. I’m so excited I almost drop the rest of my sandwich. I text him back and say, “Oh my goodness! You totally made my day! Congratulations! How did it go?” He writes back that everything went smoothly. The poll workers looked at the voter registration affidavit I printed for him and handed it back before giving him his ballot.

That night, a little after 7 p.m., I circle back to Ricardo’s house. I’m hoping to catch his sister Adelina, the voter I originally was there to talk with. She’s awake this time, and is a very sweet young woman who tells me she’s “really liberal.” But she seems anxious about voting, and nervously wrings her hands. “I’m not comfortable voting, because I haven’t done any research,” she tells me. I tell her how easy it is, and gently inquire about her priorities. Still, I can tell she is feeling more and more uncomfortable.

Just then, Ricardo comes back from work. I say, “Hey, Ricardo, good to see you again! Congratulations on being a voter! I’m just talking with your sister about voting – maybe you can tell her about your experience today?” He says it went fine, and during his short wait in line to vote, he even Googled a YouTube video to learn more about the difference between Democrats and Republicans. I feel embarrassed about underestimating his initiative earlier in the day. I joke about what a productive day he’s had – going to work, renewing his driver’s license, and voting for the first time. Even hearing about Ricardo’s positive experience, Adelina still doesn’t want to go to the polls. As the protective big brother, he asks with concern, “Oh, do you feel nervous? Do you want me to go there with you?” She says no and awkwardly tells me, “I’m sorry, I just don’t want to vote this time.”

I’m disappointed, but I understand. The polls close in 45 minutes. She has the right to make her own decisions, and I can see that pressuring her further will only increase her discomfort. Even though I would have been thrilled if both of them voted, one out of two is an accomplishment. Now that there are two registered voters in the house, maybe Ricardo’s example will rub off on Adelina. I thank them both for their time, wish them a good night, and head out into the darkness to knock a few more doors before the polls close.

The Joy of Talking Politics with Strangers is now available on the following platforms:

Table of Contents

Introduction

How to Make the Most of Every Conversation
The Central Valley: A Sense of Place
Cultivating Seeds of Hope

Chapter 1: Out of Bad Things, Good Things Can Come

Hard Times and Compassion
An Unlikely Activist
Starting Small
The Rewards of Phone Banking
Knock, Knock: Canvassing for Change
Platinum Linings
Build on Your Strengths
Unexpected Gifts
Summary

Chapter 2: Why Canvass and Phone Bank?

Opportunity for Dialogue
How Voter Engagement Can Help You
Bringing ‘Beginner’s Mind’ to Voter Engagement
Introducing ‘Skylar the Skeptic’
Practice Makes Progress
Experiment with the Recipe Book
Summary

Chapter 3: Safety First

Safety When Phone Banking
Taking Measured Risks
Respect Your Limits
Pay Attention to Small Clues
Trust Your Judgment
Summary

Chapter 4: Always Say Yes to the Water

Learning to Receive
Food for the Journey
Breaking Bread (or Tearing Tortillas) Together
Summary

Chapter 5: 80% Them, 20% Me

Listen More than You Talk
Gather Intel About Their Priorities
Strategies for Engaging Voters
Ask Them About Their Passions
Seek Their Expertise
‘Teaching to a Need’
When Is It Time for ‘20% Me’?
Let Your Nonjudgmental Curiosity Lead the Way
Summary

Chapter 6: Empathize, Empathize, Empathize

Take theTime to Listen
An Empathetic Witness –Not a Therapist
The Language of Empathy
Two Conversations
Can You Observe the Voter like an Anthropologist Would?
The Importance of Reflective Listening
Strategies for Navigating Challenging Conversations
Summary

Chapter 7: Talk with the One in Front of You

Talk with the Neighbors
Take Advantage of Chance Opportunities to Connect
Prioritize People over Checklists
Workers Are Voters, Too
Vote Tripling and Expanding Your Reach
Everyone Is a Potential Ally
Talk to the Doorbell
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
Accept Invitations for Respectful Dialogue
Talk with the One Who Answers the Phone, Too
Summary

Chapter 8: Seize the Day (and the Night!)

Concierge Follow-Up
Make Voters Feel Special
Become a Taxi Driver for the Day
Accompany Voters on That ‘Last Mile’
Effective is Better than Efficient
Take Your Time
Seize the Night, Too
Think like a Social Worker
Build on a Good Connection
Summary

Chapter 9: Help Them Visualize Voting

Take a Picture
Create a Map
‘Every Vote Adds Up’
Summary

Chapter 10: Embrace Your Inner Detective

Keep Going Until You Hear ‘No’ –or ‘Yes’!
Learn Something from Everyone You Meet
Invite People to Help You
Wait for Your Moment
Summary

Chapter 11: Making “I Don’t Vote” the Start, not the End, of a Conversation (written with Jacqueline Tulsky, MD)

High-Potential Voters: (At Least) 34% of the Electorate
Three Types of Voters
Helping Voters Find Their Inner Motivation to Vote
Motivational Interviewing: A Tool for Making Positive Changes
The Spirit of Motivational Interviewing
A Different Way to Communicate
How to Start a Conversation –and Keep It Going
Sample Dialogue: OAR in Action
Change Talk vs. Sustain Talk
‘Name the Hidden Hope, the Buried Yearning’
Dig Deeper
Sample Dialogue: Eliciting Change Talk‘
You Just Asked Questions and Listened’
Summary

Chapter 12: Getting Across the Moat: Navigating the First Minute of a Conversation

Approaches for Navigating Grumpiness
What if the Voter is a MAGA Republican
Summary

Chapter 13: For Grassroots Leaders: How to (Re)Engage Volunteers (written with Victoria Levi, MD, and Dara Friedman-Wheeler, PhD)

Helping Volunteers Overcome Ambivalence
Sample Dialogue: Meeting Volunteers Where They Are
The Power of Listening and Gratitude
Summary

Chapter 14: Spanish for Activists (written with Mayela Amayrani Galindo Vásquez)

Hacer un Clic (Make a Connection)
Overview
Presentaciones (Introductions)
Expresiones de Conversación (Conversational Expressions)
Identificación del Votante (Voter Identification)
Identificación de Temas Prioritarios (Identifying Priority Issues)
Votación: Hacer un Plan (Voting: Making a Plan)
Triplicar el Voto y “Cerrar el Trato” (Vote Tripling and “Closing the Deal”)
Las Despedidas (Goodbyes)
Found in Translation: Other Language Tips
Summary

Chapter 15: Gear: Tools of the Trade

My Essential Items for Canvassing
Bonus Items for Canvassing
My Essential Items for Phone Banking
Bonus Tools for Phone Banking
Summary

Chapter 16: Preventing Burnout: Self-Care for the Long Haul

Summary

Conclusion

Coming Full Circle
Three Journeys

Acknowledgments

Glossary

Appendix A: Activities to Build Your Listening Skills

Appendix B: Engaging with High-Potential Voters: Phrase List

Appendix C: (Re)Engaging with Volunteers: Phrase List

Appendix D: Spanish for Activists: Phrase List

Appendix E: “Election Spanish” for Absolute Beginners: Phrase List

Endnotes